Everyday
by AllyBallyBee
Summary: Mulder and Scully finish a case; Mulder, tired and restless, wonders what the point is.


Disclaimer: The X-Files was created and therefore is owned by Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting. I am using these characters without permission. No copyright infringement is intended.

Summary: Mulder and Scully finish a case; Mulder, tired and restless, wonders what the point is.

Title: Everyday

Author: AllyBallyBee

Classification: PG

Keywords: Partnership

Spoilers: Not really anything to be honest.

As she watched him descend the stairs of the police headquarters, she wondered again why she allowed herself to be dragged along on these cases when there was often no story, no conspiracy, no...she shook her head, almost laughed, wondering how she managed to lie even to herself. She knew she was never 'dragged' along on these cases. Even when the initial case seemed as implausible as to make her laugh, she would seldom hold herself back if Mulder saw any reason to examine it further. Not that she wouldn't object. And she certainly wouldn't do it quietly. But inevitably she would follow and that was often the problem.

Especially on a case of such inconsequence as the one that they had chosen to examine further today. A case that not even Mulder, even though he had tried, could admit was worthy of their investigation now that they had spent so much time trying to prove there was something, anything of significance.

She almost felt sorry for him. Watching him descend the last stair and walk towards their hired car, his shoulders hunched against the growing wind-or maybe in exhaustion-he started to look less like the enigmatic, distant partner that she had grown to respect and more like a lost boy trying desperately to find something to hold onto.

Every inch of her wanted to hold him, cradle him to her chest. She knew she wouldn't.

Everyday together, working side by side, learning to anticipate each other's movements, thoughts, and still she didn't know where the line was drawn between needing to know he was okay and actively finding it out. It was true it was becoming clearer, no-one could experience what they had and not _feel _the other's pain but it was another matter entirely to soothe it.

"Time to go home", shutting the door behind him, Mulder folded his long legs, climbing into the car and rested his head against the car-seat.

"Sure. You okay?" she asked, knowing that he would only tell her what he wanted her to hear.

"Fine. It's been a long day. I think we both need some sleep, don't you?" he said, sounding curt. She could hear the anger-frustration?-in his voice.

"Yeh. Listen Mulder, it..."

His eyes moved towards her, barely turning his head. "Let's go home".

***

She had always loved the way streetlamps formed shadows in a moving car. It reminded her of travelling home from holidays wrapped up in a blanket, cushioned between her brothers and Melissa. Safe, protected. The memory made her long for trips to the park and ice-cream on her hands.

Over the years of working with Mulder, and countless car-rides, she had grown to find the same comfort of sitting alongside him as she had with Charlie and Bill. There had been a time when she would fill the silences with pointless mutterings, often in response to something he had said about the case they were on. Thankfully, for both their sakes, silence was no longer an issue.

Not tonight. Tonight, the silence was obtrusive, almost making her wish for inane chatter. Almost.

"Mulder?" As if he hadn't heard her, he continued to stare out of the passenger window. Scully looked towards him, watching his profile in the glow of the streetlamps. "Mulder?"

Slowly, he turned his head in her direction but it became obvious from the distant look in his eyes that his mind was elsewhere.

"Tell me what's wrong, Mulder" She suddenly realised that she should have waited until they were out of the car, there was only so much you could read a person when the road demanded your full attention.

"I'm just tired, Scully" he said as he turned his head to look back out of the window.

"Mulder, we're both tired. I've seen you tired before, there's...what else is wrong?"_ Tell me._

He turned towards her and as he did so, she turned and caught his eye. No need for words, letting him know it was okay to tell her, to open himself to her; even just in this moment.

"I..." he shifted in his chair as if seeking the physical reassurance before allowing the luxury of divulging himself. "It's just...we work every day on these cases...these cases that, at the beginning, were all because I wanted to find some deeper truth, some meaning for why Samantha was taken away from me. I thought they were all connected. All meant something. I thought they...I thought they would eventually bring me closer to finding her. And I think most of them do, most of them have some meaning within this conspiracy...some connection. But then..." he sighed, "we work on a case like the one today and it all seems like it's a waste of time. I mean, what's the point? Is there really any?" He turned to face her and it took all of her self control not to stop the car and pull him into her arms. He looked so lost.

She needed to bring him back. Allow him to be found.

She pulled over and stopped by the side of the road. Turning in her seat, she offered him the directness that she seldom used beyond her attempts to challenge his reasons for following an often unfounded lead on a case. She needed her openness to be enough for him to understand.

"Mulder, you're asking what the point is because you're tired. It's been a long day, we've spent it running mostly in circles chasing our tails on this case which, yes, has had little to do with anything never mind this battle that we continue to fight. This isn't the first case that we've felt this and it certainly won't be the last."

"Don't feel you have to kick me when I'm already down here, Scully. It's not as if..."

"Let me finish" she interrupted. "We've had these cases and we kept going. We kept going because, just like you said, there's a bigger reason for all of what we do on the X-Files, a lot bigger than even after all we've been through, we're yet to understand. I'm sure of it. And I'm sure of it because of all we continue to discover. Not on cases like the one today but on the ones that we're going to be on tomorrow, next week, next year even. We've got so much left to uncover and to learn, Mulder, you know that. These cases, like the one today, just remind us that our path is there for us, we just have to keep on it. Reminds us that we have to keep fighting for the truth. The answers aren't going to fall into our laps, nothing this complicated ever does or will." She reached over to hold his fingers, seeking the physical contact to re-assure him of her honesty. "Mulder, you're one of the most determined people that I have ever known. It's what I admire most about you...you never give up hope that there are answers out there, even when the answers seem to be forever out of our reach. You can't give up and I know you won't because you'll realise that today was just a minor digression from what we're really doing. And you certainly won't give up because you're what keeps me here, fighting with you. If you're not fighting for this then...well, Mulder, I'll probably end up going to the Midwest somewhere to start an alpaca farm and we all know how that'll end up." She patted his hand and turned back to the road, smirking slightly. Humour, it was what kept them sane.

"Alpaca farming...really?" She could hear the humour in his voice and knew he was back.

"Shut-up, Mulder. I couldn't think of anything on such short notice. I'm not knowledgeable in farming produce...goods...yields? Oh, I don't know." She turned the key in the ignition, starting the engine.

"Thank God you're pretty, you wouldn't go very far in Iowa!" he laughed.

"Alright, alright. Let's go home, Mulder." She said as she eased the car out of their temporary spot.

"We should do this more often"

"What?"

"Swap roles like this. I don't think I've ever heard you fight so hard for me to continue finding these cases, Scully", a trace of humour still graced his voice.

"Let's not get too ahead of ourselves, Mulder. I wasn't talking about cases like today's and you know it, smart ass."

"So you say now Scully but you should see the case that just came to my attention this morning..."

***

As they drove away from the curb, seeking the warmth of home comforts, both smiling slightly at the other's comic relief, there was a renewed sense of understanding as to how their partnership worked: it was never easy, certainly not simple, always challenging but in the end, it was because of who they are, how they complement each other, how they brought each other back, that made it successful. That made it worth the battle.

***

"Thus nature has no love for solitude, and always leans, as it were, on some support; and the sweetest support is found in the most intimate friendship."  
_- Cicero_


End file.
